This is the story of a dog named Sam. Sam lived with a couple of grown-ups and a couple of kids, and he loved his life. One day, nobody knows how, but he could talk and think and feel just like a person. And the grown-ups thought, “Ah, no more teaching this dog old tricks, it’s time for some new ones. Because the difference between a dog and a person is what you train them to do!”

Used to be, Sam would want to play outside
He’d run to the door, they’d let him out, and he’d run free in the breeze
Oh, but now, now that Sam could talk and think
He ran to the door, they looked at him, and they told him, “Sam, say ‘please’!”

So he did, and one fine day
The only thing they had to say was

“Whaddaya say?” — and he said it
And he wondered if I don’t feel it, do I get credit?
But everytime, whatever he wanted, he’d get it
So when they would say, “Whaddaya say?” — he said it

Then when Sam trackin’ mud would come back in
They’d clean up the floor, clean off his feet, and it all was fine somehow
Oh, but now, now that Sam could talk and think
He tracked in the mud, they looked at him, and said, “Say, ‘I’m sorry,’ now!”

So he did, and one fine day
The only thing they had to say was

“Whaddaya say?” — and he said it
And he wondered if I don’t feel it, do I get credit?
But everytime, whatever he wanted, he’d get it
So when they would say, “Whaddaya say?” — he said it

Later on, when the dinnertime would come
They’d pour the food, he’d run to his bowl, and he’d eat up every gram
Oh, but now, now that Sam could talk and think
They poured the food, he ran to his bowl, and they said, “Say, ‘Thank you,’ Sam!”

So he did, and one fine day
The only thing they had to say was

“Whaddaya say?” — and he said it
And he wondered if I don’t feel it, do I get credit?
But everytime, whatever he wanted, he’d get it
So when they would say, “Whaddaya say?” — he said it

Belly full, wanting just to take a nap
Sammy would yawn, then he would head to the cushion where he snoozed
Oh, but now, now that Sam could took talk and think
When he was done, right then they were saying “Say ‘May I be excused”!”

So he did, and one fine day
The only thing they had to say was

“Whaddaya say?” — and he said it
And he wondered if I don’t feel it, do I get credit?
But everytime, whatever he wanted, he’d get it
So when they would say, “Whaddaya say?” — he said it

Sam could have learned so many valuable things. But he didn’t even learn what the grown-ups thought they had taught him. He didn’t learn to be grateful or regretful or considerate. He only learned to say what people wanted to hear so he could get what he wanted. But he remembered, he got what he wanted even easier before he could talk. So he stopped talking, and the grown-ups thought he was just a plain old dog again. So they stopped treating him like a person. They just did for him all the things they used to do, asking nothing in return. And when the kids in the family saw Sam was loving his life again, well, they stopped talking, too. What happened then, that’s a story for another time.